I love a good magazine; flipping through every single page, pouring over every editorial shoot, reading every last caption and story. But lately I haven’t been able to get through a single issue of my old favorites.
But then yesterday I stumbled upon More Magazine. And while the articles are most definitely geared towards a more mature audience, I felt touched and inspired by the material within its binding. Each story held a wisdom that really resonated with me and left me feeling more empowered and less afraid to grow old.
I often feel like an old soul trapped in a young body. Don’t get me wrong, I still party with the best of them, but at the end of the day I am an extremely reflective and intuitive person. I enjoy the little things, like gardening or curling up with a good book and some hot tea. I am passionate about traveling and soul searching and I strive everyday to grow as a person. But growing old? That’s a concept I have been hideously afraid of lately. I keep having this panicky feeling that time is running out. That if I don’t make the right decisions right this second, my life will go in the wrong direction and I’ll never have the opportunity to reroute it. Each morning I wake with this urgency to leave a legacy and make something of myself, and each night I go to sleep feeling defeated. This is perhaps daunting to hear from a 25 year old, but living in Los Angeles in a time of economic uncertainty has taken quite the tole on my psyche. Growing up an only child I truly believed that if I wanted something, I could have it with enough dedication and hard work. Over the last few years, this feeling has wavered to the point where I feel like I have missed the boat on a lot of my original dreams.
And this is where I was when I picked up More Mag on the elliptical. Reading articles about women who were still finding themselves at 40, 50, 60, lifted me from my despair and reinstated my hope and faith. The cover story with Lauren Graham was a breath of fresh air. Here is an established actress who didn’t ‘make it’ in her 20s, and even now with all her success at 40, she is still reinventing herself and discovering what she wants from life. But her story wasn’t the only one, each page showcased another successful woman who undoubtedly felt the same passion, and struggle, as I feel today.
This commonality among successful women has never been apparent to me, and that is probably due to the fact that my nose has still been buried in the magazines I enjoyed through college. I’m ready to cancel my subscription to magazines boasting titles ‘makeup tricks that will make him drool’. I want, and deserve to give myself, More.
Chelsea Gilson, 25
Theatrical Talent Agent
West Hollywood, CA
[email protected]
www.chelseagilson.blogspot.com
