Life Lessons & Vents

This Thanksgiving I’m Thankful for…

With the dropping of temperatures to a frigid 67 degrees, we have entered the polar vortex of autumn in Los Angeles.  Tis the season of tree lightings that start November 1st, getting in verbal arguments over the last pillar candle at Home Goods, and obsessing over all things pumpkin flavor.

And with my crockpot out, my faux fur vest on and the DVR filled with Hallmark and Lifetime Xmas movies…  I have no doubt that this will be another holiday season of epic proportions.   Yet, it is those moments of a pounding eggnog hangover, the euphoria of eating a dozen sugar cookies in one sitting, and maxing out not one, but three, credit cards (and that was just on stocking stuffers) – that bring me to reflection.   Just a momentary pause from the gluttony and indulgence to remember the lessons of Christmas’ poorly overshadowed cousin: Thanksgiving.

Asking myself to dial back on the eggnog is simply a set up for failure – so I won’t even bore you with a claim so pretentious.  This season, I just want to be more thankful. For family, friends, a wonderful boyfriend, a dog who only behaves when she’s asleep… health, opportunity, travel, a higher IQ than the majority of the population… you know, the simple things.   So here it is.  My thanksgiving thank-ful list.  Hopefully I remember to glance back to this throughout the season so I can stay emotionally grounded while I abandon all guilt and inhale stuffing.
This Thanksgiving I am thankful for:
 1. The end of the crop top trend.  I can feel it coming.
2. George Clooney.  And each and every single one of your silver fox grey hairs.
3. Attending Coachella, EDC and Stagecoach in one year.. and still retaining a smidge of dignity.
4. A dog who lets me dress her up in costumes for impromptu photo shoots.
5. Leggings.  I know you might be out of style.. but I still love you.  So much.  I couldn’t do Mondays without you.
6. A boyfriend who doesn’t break up with me when I come out of the bathroom in a volcanic mud face and hair mask.
7. A cherry tomato plant that f’ing killed it this year.
8. No Diggity by Blackstreet.  Without you, I might never get drunken calls from my friends from home.
9. Pinterest.  Without you, I may never have a craft closet and an expense account at Michaels. And I sure as hell wouldn’t have found 101 decorative uses for mason jars.
10. That you can hide boards on Pinterest.  Like the all encompassing wedding board I have despite not being engaged.
11. That none of my embarrassing audition tapes have gone viral.  Especially that one where I try to sing Happy Birthday Mr President like Marilyn Monroe.
12. Gel manicures.  Thank you for being less trashy looking than acrylic nails and for helping create the illusion that I’m ‘put together’.  I owe you one.
13. You too bleach.  I know you already know this… but you’re everything to me.  Without your magical ability to strip my hair of all color, nutrients and life, I’d be lost.
4. Victoria Secret sizes.  It is so sweet of you to run so small that my A boobs fit comfortably in one of your size C bras.
15. Christmas music on the radio.  To break up the onslaught of whining Taylor Swift that plays nonstop throughout the rest of the year.
16. The Skimm.. for holding me afloat in current event conversations and making me chuckle every morning.
17. Not having children… who I probably wouldn’t have gotten vaccinated and now probably would be sick.  And not able to eat chicken soup.  Because they would probably be vegan.
18. Amanda Bynes.
19. 4 seasons with Honey Boo Boo.  I’ll always cherish our time together.
20. Living in a country where I feel safe and secure; where my biggest worry might be over cooking a turkey.
Happy Week until Turkey, football and beating your cousins in Monopoly.  This year I am going to take my time to enjoy a holiday that is overlooked because of it’s sheer simplicity… to give thanks.

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