Trust Issues

Trust Issues

From the decades (2.5) of infinite wisdom I’ve accumulated from observing human nature (better known as stealth people watching), I’ve formulated the trustworthy test*

*Patent pending.

You cannot trust someone if:

1. They eat the American cheese that comes individually wrapped in plastic

2. It says “sexy” or “baby” across the ass of their sweatpants

3. They have a pet ferret

4. They chose to plaster a close up picture of their face put on their debit card

5. They live in Hollywood.  By choice.

6. They have a Canadian accent but don’t play hockey.  Actually.  Just if they have a Canadian accent.

7. They don’t high five you for a teenage mutant ninja turtles reference

8. They drive a hybrid hummer

9. They don’t have a middle name

10. They don’t get their fries animal style at in n out

This is all based on my keen human observation expertise and should not be taken lightly.  You’re very welcome for this gift.   More to come.

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