To finally be a bride at your own bachelorette party is euphoric. It is such a sensational wave of emotions to feel so loved and celebrated by all your dearest friends from every stage of your life. Yet, I had been so nervous leading up to my party. I was adamantly against anyone feeling obligated to attend or being pressured into spending too much. I also was resolute that it would not be cheesy. No penis straws, period. I really just wanted this special moment to be one I got to spend:
A. reconnecting with my favorite people in the entire world
B. over copious amounts of liquor
C. with a lot of laughs and a little dancing
D. on a beach
E. All of the above
Before anyone even had a chance to suggest Vegas or Cabo, Miami or Napa, I had secured a small house in the Cape through a family friend so that I could have everything on my checklist while still keeping my crux of inexpensive and easy.
There is no better place than Cape Cod for a bachelorette party.
For real. The beaches are great, bars are wild, weather warm… but the people are what make this skinny stretch of land sparkle. You see, New Englanders live for their summers and find nothing more enjoyable than just that, enjoying their summer. Expect over the top friendliness, endless beaches, lobster rolls, frozen drinks on repeat and honestly just a down to earth good time. That’s Cape Cod.
But with so many options for activities and only a short weekend, even a bachelorette party in easy breezy Cape Cod can feel daunting to plan. Thankfully my girlfriends absolutely spoiled me rotten and did all the leg work, so I’ve got a pretty epic bachelorette party itinerary for you – all laid out below. Follow this and you (or the bride you’re planning for!) will be crying tears of gratitude for years to come. (I’m crying right now, no joke).
DAY 1
<<Wednesday: Feel the Water>>
YAY! You’re here!! Check into rental house and immediately go to the beach to take that one good photo before you’re bloated from lobster rolls and dirty bananas.
Important that you kick off the weekend with the most picture-worthy cocktail you can find, since you 100% won’t be pulling your phone out again to take any cute photos. Try this one from the Ocean House Restaurant. Then get another one, you deserve it.
Lay out by the beach until you start to crisp then drive the coast north towards Chatham admiring the lighthouses and stopping here and there for live music. Since you’ve still got your dignity fully intact at this point, Chatham Wine Bar is a pretty perfect spot for a sunset cocktail.
Back to the house for a freshen, then a casual dinner and drinks near the rental. We headed to the stretch of bars on Main Street in Hyannis to meet up with friends, where I seriously savored every moment of the calm before the storm. Can’t go wrong with the freshest of fresh seafood from Naked Oyster.
DAY 2
<<THURSDAY: Last Sail Before the Veil>>
Pack an overnight bag and take an early ferry with the girls to Nantucket Island.. because you’re classy like that. Lie to yourself as you order your bloody mary that you’re going to limit your libations on the island for fear it will ruin the next two nights of your bach… which are the big ones.
Hop off the boat and right to Cru for the world’s best lobster roll and a glass of sauv blanc. Stroll the downtown to take frame-worthy photos like this:
Catch a ride to Cisco Brewing Co for live music and a beer flight. Or 10 sangrias, whichever. Put your sunglasses on, and keep them there. Uncomfortably hug friends over and over telling them how much you love them.
Try to recoup by throwing on a nighttime appropriate outfit and head to Galley Beach for an unbelievable sunset view over cocktails.
For dinner, go for trendy sushi at Lola 41. While you’re waiting for the wine to be corked, throw in a martini. Why not, right? This is definitely going to be the last drink of the night. What? It’s not like you’re going on a bar crawl or anything. You can just have one last drink.
….well maybe one more stop. I mean what’s a trip to Nantucket without a mudslide from The Gazebo? and Slip 14 is always fun! Oh and what about that new place, Proprietors? Just as long as we don’t end up at the Chicken Box this night is still in control.
…..Oh whatever. You’re on a bar crawl in Nantucket and it’s your bachelorette party. Chicken Box it is.
After several failed attempts at getting on stage with the band and one beer exploding all over my skirt, we called it… just a hair before last call. I was fortunate enough to have a dear friend invite us to stay at her place in Nantucket for the night. If you don’t have said friend, cram as many girls as you can into a hotel room at The White Elephant or 21 Broad.
DAY 3
<< FRIDAY: The Local Shakedown >>
Spend the next morning eating your bagel sandwich and smoothie from The Green ever so slowly on the beach. Before catching the afternoon ferry back home, dive into the larger than life waves. You need it.
Once back at the house, start prepping for tonight’s dinner party with the girls. I was really adamant against group dinners… they’re always so expensive and rather lackluster. My remedy was a potluck at the rental house. We set up a table outside with the spread and made vodka martinis with fresh watermelon. The rare opportunity to blend everyone you love in harmony …and then get silly drunk and dance on tables at a local bar. The best.
Any local bar close to your rental house will do, but we headed to Sand Bar after dinner for the live music.
DAY 4
<< SATURDAY: LAST STOP, PTOWN >>
Spend the morning admiring just how incredibly spectacular your friends are for making your bachelorette party feel so very special. Get a mimosa buzz while you float in the pool snorting laughing reliving memories you had long forgotten.
Bring a change of clothes (and a hair brush) and hop in the party bus for everyone’s favorite bar: The Beachcomber. Honestly, best bar in the world. Get a couple round of mudslides, make some new friends, and put your toes in the sand.
Back to the bus, utilize that hair brush and have a semblance of an outfit change while continuing the guzzling of rosé.
Hop out in Provincetown to catch a hell of a sunset and then let the crawling begin.
Doesn’t really matter where you end up, all the bars and clubs are equally as packed with gays & bachelorette parties. Be prepared to see at least 5 brides/bar! Of course you HAVE TO stop at Governor Bradfords House for karaoke. We did a group rendition of “Wonderwall.” Was not pretty, but definitely memorable. The Atlantic House is my favorite club.
FOREVER AFTER
<< Cherish this weekend dearly and revisit the memories often to remind yourself just how lucky and loved you are >>
Special Thanks to my maid of honor Kelly for all of your planning expertise, Sarah for the adorable veil and such incredibly crafty decorations from her shop Say It So Studio, Allison for inviting us heathens to stay in her Nantucket home and for dragging us on the most aggressive bar crawl I’ve ever been on, Liz for opening her home for the pool party and making the world’s best quiches, Steph for making sure there were no penis straws or expensive group dinners, Jenna for not peeing your pants on the bus, Ashly for puking (again) – even though you never puke, Erika and Jamie for flying 3000 miles, Ashley for making sure none of the pasta salad went to waste, and Melissa for always going mudslide for mudslide with me. And for everyone else who joined in on the celebrations, I love all of you with every beat of my heart!
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Still deciding where to throw the bach? Check out these other itineraries I’ve created:
Wine Country Bachelorette Party
Palm Springs Bachelorette Party
Are you the MOH? Here is my speech writing tips & the speech I wrote 🙂
Hi, where in the cape did you stay??
We stayed in Dennis at a family friend’s house, but I’d recommend staying a bit further down the cape. Orleans area is perfect!
Hi, I’m planning a bachelorette party this summer. Most of the time we will be in Nantucket, but we have one night in Hyannis. I’ve only ever been to Hyannis to catch the ferry…do you have any recommendations for fun bars in the area?? Thanks!
Hey girl! There are so many bars in a row on Main Street that are fun and a few on Ocean Ave. I’d start at the Naked Oyster and go from there!
In response to all the bachelorette party conversation, I would like to say that for me and many others it’s not about bachelorette parties coming to Provincetown to enjoy this beautiful and inclusive place. Of course they should be welcome here to stay, shop, eat, and go to shows. It’s mainly about their often disruptive, clueless, and incredibly rude behavior when going into gay bars.
I have witnessed many of these groups are hanging out in their own ignorant non inclusive bubble, and they do harass and tokenize gay men at the bars, not understanding or caring that they are disrupting the safe space created for gay men and women
Despite the changes that have been made nationwide, gay marriage being legalized, and gay media being in the mainstream, many LGBTQ still do not feel safe and are not safe just being themselves or even holding hands in public in the vast majority of towns and bars in the country.
Questioning a woman’s right to be anywhere or do anything is not always misogyny, just as a space that is designated for a specific group doesn’t cause it to be discriminatory towards any other. I’m certain lesbians would feel the same way if groups of straight men or bachelor parties started going to lesbian bars, and I would not consider that misandry.
Like so many gay men, I have brought straight women friends to gay bars and clubs, and it is also valid to appreciate that for many LGBTQ people, a gay or lesbian bar or club is a place of sanctuary. These are places created with the intent to provide a social avenue for people in search of community that they do not have in their life on a daily basis, sometimes even at home or work. So when an outsider enters that space and disrupts it, the people who create and populate the space for themselves have a right to state a grievance.
I have had women from these groups grab me inappropriately and inform me that I am “too cute to be gay,” which at the root is degrading, ignorant, and discriminatory. I have also witnessed a group of them react venomously with pure disgust when a beautiful lesbian asked if any of them were gay.
We are not all Will and they are certainly not all Grace, and gay men are not out to be grabbed by straight women summoned to dance and fill out whatever fantasy they likely got from some TV show or clips found on the internet.
Bachelorette parties in a gay male bar or club should at act polite guests. Have some etiquette and show respect by not appropriating gay spaces and treating gay men like props for their personal play. They may be queen for a night, but this is certainly not their queendom. If they can’t do this, please leave, move on, & get out. That isn’t misogynistic; it’s calling on all people to have some understanding of the social aspects of the people and spaces they are surrounding themselves with.
Hey Geno, I appreciate the input. Maybe because I live in West Hollywood and have such a large mixed group of straight and gay friends, I’m ignorant to the fact that Massachusetts is not as liberal and most of these females aren’t frequenting gay bars. I didn’t choose my bachelorette party night in P-town, it was a surprise, but I was so happy to attend because Provincetown is the only really fun exciting nightlife area of the Cape. Plus it has a nostalgic factor for me since we grew up camping there each summer. My group stayed really tame and well mannered, but I was absolutely shocked by how many bachelorette parties we ran into during our few hours there. Just with those numbers and the nature of bachelor/bachelorette parties, you’re bound to have some people who are disrespectful, no matter sexual orientation.
Love this! Do you know what bus company you used for your transport to and from Provincetown?
Hi Erica! I asked my MOH and she can’t remember, sorry girl!
Wow, super useful post for someone trying to plan a summer bachelorette party on the Cape, thank you!!
My group has found an AMAZING house right on the beach in Dennis, but being able to go out dancing is definitely important for the bride-to-be. From your experience, do you think we’d be able to find a dancing type of bar in a place uber-able from Dennis? Hyannis maybe? Or are we better off looking for something closer to p-town?
Stumbled upon this blog and it has been super helpful while planning an upcoming bachelorette party on the Cape. We absolutely plan on taking the ferry out to Nantucket for a day or two but in terms of where to stay on the Cape itself, do you recommend Hyannis, Orleans or Provincetown? I don’t know the area very well or how close these areas are to each other. Any advice would be much appreciated, it is going to be a group of 8 girls!
Hi girl! Provincetown will be the most wild and the most condensed, but it’s a really far drive – and in Cape traffic can be hard for the girls to get there in time for Friday night activities. Orleans is the best option in my opinion. It’s centrally located and really adorable with tons of fun bars and restaurants around. Hyannis is built up with a main street of bars and it’s the closest and easiest to drive to, but in my opinion doesn’t feel like you’re really on the cape yet.
Hope that helps!
Hello! Looking to have my bachelorette in cape cod! Your trip looked amazing! We would like to be walking distance from bars/restaurants and cape cod is huge. Any recommendation on which area to stay in?
Hi Tiffany!
Its tough because the Cape is so spread out and there are so many fun towns to see and explore. Provincetown is probably your best bet if you want to park the car and just spend your entire weekend walking to different bars, beaches and restaurants. but – it’s so far to get to and cape cod traffic can be unbearable. I’d suggest staying central -like chatham, and exploring your surroundings the first day, and then hiring a bus to bring you to Ptown for the day/night Sat.
[…] tweaks. I thought I’d just make my suggestions into a post since, to this day, my ‘Best bachelorette weekend in Cape Cod‘ tops my most read of all time […]
Not sure how I happened upon this other than I was looking for some info related to Crown & Anchor – a bar in Ptown I used to bartend at during college. I have to say that when I worked there, I did see a lot of the obnoxious bachelorette party behavior the prior poster noted. And your comment about other places not being liberal enough etc just isn’t true and sounds pretentious and dumb. I live in West Hwd, and travel for a living and see this same nonsense in every city in N. America. Even in WeHo, the sentiment is similar. You can try and say that it is sexist but lesbians hate straight women at the gay bars even more than the men!
The irony is that you are going to gay bars EXPLICITLY to filter out straight men. For that reason, it could easily be said that you are the ones being sexist and discriminatory. I once saw two drunk bach party women in a gay bar in Seattle yelling at the bouncer for letting in straight guys as if they owned the place! I DO agree with w/ your comment that P-town has the most exciting nightlife on the Cape. However, every straight girl I know uses the excuse of gay bars/clubs being the best in the city which is why they go (I wish that was true) when the truth is that they only go b/c they don’t want to be bothered by straight men. That is the #1 reason!!! They are typically not allies of the community and not going with gay friends. They are there to use the gay patrons as party favors and make the bar their safe space. But gay bars are meant to be a safe space for gay people – not bach parties!! You can go anywhere. Many gay people can’t and you can’t seem to wrap your head around that. Sorry to burst your bubble but that even hold true in place like LA and NY and even in S.F. You are just too self-absorbed to see it.
No one who wants to walk in ANY bar and have it filled w/ screaming bachelorette parties. The reason David Cooley built that add-on bar to the Abbey called Chapel was to make a more gay-centric bar. The gay patrons complained that the Abbey had become too hetero and too many “girls night out” groups. Why can’t the gay patrons have their own “gays nights out”? When will hetero women stop trying to rain on the parade?
Enough of my opinion but I did look at your site a bit – and it seems you do occasionally promote bach parties at gay bars which is not great advice, IMHO. I also saw what appeared to be photos of your bach party night in Ptown? Looks fun although if you are so down w/ the gays, I would expect to see some gay dudes as part of your bridal party. But that rarely happens (no surprise) and yet these same women – like you – feel entitled to take over the gay clubs but are in fact the ones who are not inclusive. Lastly, why do groups of straight women go to gay clubs when they know they aren’t wanted? I don’t get it. On second thought, most of these women don’t know b/c they are too self-absorbed. I’m sure this is not in your sphere of life, but I don’t know any straight women who even have had a bachelorette party. They are so ridiculous.
Hi Warren, I’m sorry you feel like this, and that you’ve found me ‘self absorbed’. The gay bars are the best ones in Ptown. They are the most fun, with the best music and biggest crowds. My gay friends didn’t make the trip east to my bachelorette party, but I’ve been to gay friends weddings and attended their bach parties. Where we went to a mix of gay and straight bars, without any issues. I’m sure there are some bachelorette party horror stories, and I can’t speak for everyone, but neither can you. Have a good day Warren, hope someone shows you some compassion soon and shifts your perspective of humanity a little.
I agree that the gay bars in P-town are the best in the Cape and I don’t necessarily fault you for that. Although, as I mentioned, I did work as a bartender at the Crown & Anchor for two summers during college and I did see consistently bad behavior by bachelorette parties, week after week. As I mentioned, I travel a lot for my job and see the same patterns repeating everywhere. You conveniently didn’t address why bachelorette parties and “girls night” out” groups go to gay bars in the first place. They want to exclude the presence of straight men which all could agree is exclusionary. Also, several of my lesbian friends have experienced very negative/hostile reactions from straight women they approached who they thought were gay. One lesbian friend of mine even heard one of these bachelorette party chicks in the ladies restroom say “EWW! Some gross dyke just tried to hit on me!!” Call that just another reason as to why bachelorette parties need to be banned from gay bars.
I believe you that there are horrible bachelorette parties, and rude people in general, everywhere. But I can’t imagine that all bachelorette parties are filled with girls who are in a relationship and don’t want to meet single straight guys. I find your assumption that women want the exclusion of straight men to be way off. Bachelorette parties have one intention: have the most fun. They want to go to a lively place where they can dance.
How many of you are thirty and still can’t afford to buy your own house like a grown up because you’ve spent $10,000 in the last 3 years on bachelorette parties and destination weddings? You’re not 12 years old. You don’t need to go somewhere in matching outfits and penis hats.
This made me LOL. Couldn’t agree more that it’s all so out of hand.