LOL Pageants

Mock On Stage Pageant Questions for the Bitter-Hearted Runner Ups.

Considering I’m quite bitterly boycotting my identity as a ‘pageant girl’ ever since I aged out and didn’t get one chance to compete in Miss America and Miss USA unfairly chose the prettier, smarter, taller candidate over me…  I’ve decided to make a new list of pageant questions for my loyal pageant fans to practice.

(But wait – I don’t want to lose you forever pageantinas!  Scroll back a few months to get pages upon pages of real pageant questions, essay samples, walking tips and pageant diet do’s and dont’s)

On Stage Q&A.  All answers are.. well of course.. world peace.

Do you believe that all vegetables should be treated equally regardless of their color?
Do cabbage patch kids promote childhood obesity?
Explain quantum physics using only facial expressions.
How does eating Smart Food Popcorn contribute to a higher IQ?
Where in the world is Carmen Sandiego?
What would you say to someone who doesn’t believe in World peace?
Why are fried chicken pieces referred to as chicken fingers?
Please recite your favorite Popsicle joke.
How long would it take a 5 foot snowman to melt in 63 degree weather?
If you were a painting, would you want to be hung landscape or portrait?
Do you feel that subbing butter for margerine is unamerican?
do you think the government should ban red velvet cupcakes for their addictive qualities?
Do you think it’s unethical for baby carrots to be taken away from their parents and bagged for sale at such a young age?

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